Rudy Giuliani's 9/11 Anniversary Speech Was Every Bit as Batshit as You'd Expect

America’s disgraced mayor, Rudy Giuliani, continued his descent into obscurity at his annual dinner commemorating the 20th anniversary of the attacks on September 11th, 2001.

In a rambling, nearly incoherent speech that led many on Twitter to question his level of intoxication, Giuliani riffed on a number of subjects, including how he wants to “shove” General Mark Milley’s Army decorations “down his throat,” a critique of Biden’s handling of Afghanistan, a denial that he ever engaged “with a woman or young girl” in the company of Prince Andrew and an impression of Queen Elizabeth.

Speaking about Afghanistan, Giuliani began by criticizing Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Milley, who said at a press conference that the military chose to protect the U.S. Embassy in Kabul over Bagram Air Base, saying the airport took “a significant level of military effort” and that “we had to collapse one or the other.”

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“How the hell’s that guy a general? Jesus,” he said. “The other day he said the Bagram Air Force Base is not strategically important.”

“I wanted to grab his stars and shove it down his throat and say, ‘It’s 400 miles from China, asshole!’ ” Giuliani, who has never served in the military, said. ” ‘China is going to be our enemy for the next 40 years! You have an airbase 400 miles from them and you’re giving it up? Idiot! What the hell is wrong with you? Who pays you? Christ! That is crazy.’ “

Giuliani’s Afghanistan raging continued as he critiqued Biden. “What Biden has done in the last few weeks is insane,” he said. “It cannot be explained.”

Naturally, Giuliani couldn’t neglect to mention that he happened to be mayor of New York on 9/11 — a fact he has been dining out on for two decades. (As then-Sen. Joe Biden once joked, “There’s only three things [Giuliani] mentions in a sentence — a noun, a verb, and 9/11. There’s nothing else!”)

“20 years ago, I did my job for the country. I’m very proud of it,” he said.

Perhaps the least predictable segment of Giuliani’s rant came when he talked about the Queen of England and how he turned down a knighthood.

“I turned down a knighthood because if you took a knighthood, you had to lose your citizenship,” Giuliani said.

But actually, Rudy accepted an honorary knighthood, and he was named Giuliani Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire for his “outstanding help and support to the bereaved British families in New York.”

Giuliani then turned the subject to the queen’s son, Prince Andrew, who has been mired in the Jeffrey Epstein scandal. Women have come forward accusing the prince of sexually assaulting them when they were minors, and he was served with a lawsuit from one of the accusers, Virginia Giuffre, on Saturday.

“I know Prince Andrew is very questionable now. I never went out with him. Ever!” Giuliani said. “Never had a drink with him, never was with a woman or young girl with him. Ever, ever, ever.”

He then immediately backtracked and admitted he had socialized with Prince Andrew on at least two occasions.

“One time, I met him in my office, and one time when we had the party,” Giuliani said.

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